


A Word

by betsybo



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Series VII, Conversations, Developing Relationship, Ficlet, Gen, It's pretty random if I'm honest, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betsybo/pseuds/betsybo
Summary: Lister and Kochanski have an awkward conversation.Alternate Series VII where Rimmer is still with them.





	A Word

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve been trying to develop a fic based on the idea that Rimmer stayed with them in Series VII, and so was still there when Kochanski arrives. I wanted to write lots of love triangle shenanigans, but this is the only piece that’s really taken shape so far. I retconned a series retcon for this to work a bit better, but it’s so insignificant in this bit that I don’t think it makes much of a difference.

 

‘Dave?’ came Kochanski’s soft call.

 

Lister turned to see her standing just outside the open doorway to his and Rimmer’s quarters.

 

‘Hiya,’ he said, nodding at her.

 

‘Rimmer not around?’ she asked, stepping into the room.

 

‘No. Think he’s in the cockpit.’

 

‘Good, Kryten’s there, too. Can I talk to you for a moment?’

 

Lister smiled knowingly. He’d been expecting this conversation ever since Kochanski had first asked him about Rimmer’s presence within their group. She was obviously curious that he’d been brought back as the ship’s hologram; perhaps interested that he’d be selected over her to keep Lister sane. Lister had gently informed her that in their reality he’d never actually got together with his Kochanski; that they’d barely really known each other. And so, Rimmer really had been the more likely candidate for revival, even if he and Lister had detested each other as much as they did in her universe.

 

But he and Rimmer had been getting on okay in recent weeks – _more_ than okay. They had been spending more time together – willingly, and _enjoying_ it. They shared stories and jokes; untainted by anger or resentment. They expressed genuine care towards each other now, for the first time in all the years they’d known one another. Something, somewhere along the lines, had changed between them, and Lister knew, from Kochanski’s little sideways glances and awkward pauses, that she had noticed. He didn’t really know what he would tell her. He wasn’t sure of how to put it into words – all he knew was that it made him stupidly happy.

 

However, since Kochanski had arrived, Rimmer was as moody and bitter as _ever_. Naturally, he was insistent on maintaining the proper order of things; Kochanski was his superior in both rank and experience, and therefore he nearly always deferred to her. That did not, however, mean he was pleased about doing so, or that he put much effort into hiding his feelings.

 

Kochanski could handle it, of course. She could sense a backhanded compliment at twenty paces, and still possessed the extraordinary ability to cow and dismiss Rimmer with immediate effect, despite having not spoken to the man in her own universe for nearly half a decade. Lister just felt incredibly sorry for her. On top of being separated from her own universe, her friends, and lover, she now had to take, not just Rimmer’s coldness, but also _Kryten’s_. The pair of them seemed to fear that Lister would push them out in favour of her, even though he had tried to reassure them both that she posed no such threat. He could admit that he was glad to have her around – when she wasn’t feeling so down about everything they’d managed to spend some very pleasant time together – but he found it baffling that Kryten and Rimmer seemed to think his heart too small to accommodate her along with them. Although... Lister hoped Rimmer’s jealousy was more because he too had noticed their shifted dynamic, and was afraid Kochanski’s reappearance in their lives might jeopardise that. He didn’t want the guy to suffer for it or abandon hope; but at least then it would confirm that they had _something_ going on between them. But it was hard to tell, because he knew that Rimmer would have had issues with Kochanski’s presence whether he felt something for Lister or not.

 

‘Look,’ said Kochanski, obviously taking care with her soft tones and lowered gaze. ‘I appreciate that you need some support, and I can tell that you must get lonely enough sometimes to accept any attention thrown your way. But I have to say I don’t think _he’s_ the right person for the job. He’s pedantic, obsessive about the tiniest details, and he’s really quite possessive.’

 

Lister smiled. ‘Yeah, I know,’ he said softly. Rimmer was _definitely_ those things. Even before this _thing_ between them developed, Rimmer had resented the Cat and then Kryten’s being there; Lister befriending them easily, and only isolating himself further with his callousness.

 

‘Now I get that it may come from the right place, but I have to say, at _this_ level it’s unhealthy.’

 

‘Unhealthy?’ Lister shook his head.

 

‘Borderline abuse, actually. You know, like over-parenting?’

 

‘Eh, now – I know he’s a bit intense. He’s got all these snobby ideas about how things should be done and he’s not really that open to other people’s thinking, but he’s really not that bad. I wouldn’t pay too much attention to any of his smeg.’

 

‘You tolerate enough of it,’ said Kochanski sternly.

 

‘I’m sorry, Kris,’ said Lister seriously. ‘I did speak to him about his behaviour towards you.’

 

She shook her head. ‘It’s not _me_ you need to worry about. I’ve seen the way he comes here and takes control, and there _you_ are relaxing there on the bed and letting him!’

 

Lister stared at her, open-mouthed. ‘...Have you?’ he said, alarmed as a hot blush crept over his face. He was _very_ certain that he and Rimmer had never done anything of the sort. He’d had recurring dreams about it, starting with one where they’d kissed passionately in the cockpit, but as much as he could admit he was interested, it hadn’t actually happened yet... had it? He wracked his brains, trying to think. There was the other night when he’d been pissed – one of many – if he was honest, but he _still_ didn’t recall so much as pecking Rimmer on the lips. And it took a _lot_ to get Rimmer drunk these days; certainly a lot to get him drunk enough to forget himself. This _had_ to be a misunderstanding.

 

‘When _was_ this?’ he asked. ‘I don’t remember.’

 

‘Multiple times, Dave,’ replied Kochanski, as though it should have been obvious. ‘You leave the door open enough. And even when you don’t, I can hear him moving around, rummaging through all your clothes, groaning and moaning; he’s all over you! He’ll be kissing your boots, next.’

 

‘...I don’t understand,’ said Lister, feeling lost. Rimmer liked to pace up and down his quarters when they were chatting, but he couldn’t think of why Kochanski had interpreted any sounds from those times as sex noise. They had never really been all that physical with each other, even when they’d fought all the time. Yet again, he tried to remember a moment he’d shared with Rimmer that even resembled what Kochanski was describing.

 

‘It’s not just for your benefit,’ Kochanski said kindly, coming to sit beside him on the bed. ‘You don’t have to cut him off completely, but I just think you should re-establish the boundaries of your relationship, and be firm about it. That way he can understand that it’s what you want, too. I _know_ you want him to think more independently.’

 

Now that was a _very_ odd thing to say, thought Lister.

 

‘Kris, if hethought any more independently he’d have two heads!’ he said.

 

‘Which he does,’ said Kochanski, with a smile.

 

Huh, two heads – ? Oh, two _faces_ was what she meant. Rimmer definitely had two of those.

 

‘...Yeah, I suppose,’ he said, and then shook his head. He was still so confused. ‘Wait, wait – this _taking control_ thing. Was – was this when was I drunk the other night?’

 

Maybe they _had_ somehow had an encounter, he wondered? Maybe that was why Rimmer was being so weird with him now; he’d thought it was down to Kochanski’s arrival, but perhaps he was also angry that Lister had forgotten... whatever it was that took place between them on whichever occasion Kochanski was talking about.

 

‘Dave... I can understand you being embarrassed,’ she said, with a meaningful look. ‘But I think we both know that I’m talking about every _day_  here.’

 

‘Every _day_?!’

 

Had Kochanski been hallucinating? Or witnessing some new type of future echo? They weren’t travelling at lightspeed, but with all the strange inter-dimensional rips and time-loops, perhaps they were producing some new phenomena of their own? Lister swallowed. He sort of hoped they _were_ future echoes, because then they would come true. He opened his mouth to ask, but Kochanski stopped him with a hand on his.

 

‘I’m not criticising you for needing to feel affection, however small the gesture is,’ she said awkwardly.

 

Lister tilted his head, glancing off to the side and then back at her face. ‘ – Small?’ he repeated dubiously.

 

‘Yes.’ Kochanski shook her head. ‘It’s not as though you don’t deserve a little care; a little pampering now and again. Especially being stuck here – I completely understand. But I think you really need to try your best to not let him take over everything, and maybe instead try a little therapy.’

 

Lister was appalled. ‘It’s not a smegging _disease_ , Kris!’

 

She reeled back slightly at his outburst. ‘Oh, no, I _know_ , Dave. I didn’t mean to overstep, I was just trying to say that I understand this sort of thing requires _some_ support.’

 

‘Why are you making it sound like a charity case? This isn’t the 20th century; I know I’m not that experienced in this area, but I have, you know – _come to terms_ with it and everything.’

 

‘Oh – ’ Kochanski seemed to have realised something. ‘I’m sorry; I’ve been acting under the impression that you haven’t really explored this. So, have you got a diagnosis?’

 

‘Diagnosis for _what_?’

 

‘Well – depression, anxiety... you know?’

 

Lister frowned again. ‘I don’t think you can catch anxiety off someone, if that’s what you’re getting at?’ he asked wearily.

 

‘Catch it? – _No_ , Dave, I’m talking about your situation. You guys have been stuck here together for ages, it was bound to happen.’

 

‘I’m really confused.’

 

Kochanski regarded him curiously for a moment, and then nodded. ‘Me too – why do I get the feeling we’re not talking about the same things?’

 

‘Okay.’ Lister straightened up a bit, and looked her directly in the eye. ‘Who are you talking about – aside from me?’

 

‘Kryten, right?’

 

‘...Kryten,’ said Lister, and then it sank in. ‘ _Kryten_!’

 

‘Yes!’

 

 ‘You’re talking about Kryten.’ Lister pointed at her.

 

Kochanski laughed. ‘Yes! Who are _you_ – ?’ Her eyes went wide, and her voice lowered. ‘You’re talking about _Rimmer_?!’

 

‘Can we start over?’ said Lister quickly.

 

‘ _Rimmer_?’ mouthed Kochanski, and then she gave a nod. ‘I mean, I’m not really _surprised_.’

 

‘Yeah, yeah. So – you were saying about Kryten?’

 

‘Said all I needed to say, I think. He’s too possessive of you – he takes over everything, while you let him go at it oh, my _God_. No wonder you looked so confused!’ She giggled.

 

‘ _Kris_ – ’

 

‘So, does Rimmer come in and _go at it_ , while you let him? Is that why you’ve gone so pink?’

 

‘Navigation Officer, Kristine Kochanski, here.’

 

‘Sorry! Sorry.’

 

Lister couldn’t help it; he started chuckling with her. At that moment, the stomping footsteps of someone in heavy boots sounded just outside, and they both looked up to see Rimmer glowering at the pair of them from the doorway.

 

‘ – Hi!’ Lister managed to get out through his laughter, and he felt Kochanski shaking with suppressed mirth beside him.

 

Rimmer’s nostrils were flared with displeasure as he walked in. ‘Of course I’d find you both here,’ he said icily. ‘Having a little tête-à-tête, are we?’

 

‘That’s right, yeah.’

 

Kochanski shot Lister a small smile, and then she got to her feet. Rimmer visibly backed up as she reached him and said, ‘I’ll go and check on things downstairs.’

 

‘Yes,’ replied Rimmer. ‘I mean, obviously things will have gone to the dogs the _moment_ you left the cockpit.’

 

‘Well, of course they have,’ said Lister, winking at her.

 

‘I’ll just check,’ said Kochanski, making to leave, before retreating to look at Rimmer. ‘Leave you boys some time for a tête-à-tête of your own.’

 

Rimmer gulped as she left, glancing at Lister before muttering, ‘Marvellous. Well, I’ll just – ’ He turned to follow Kochanski out, but she’d called for the door to lock behind her.


End file.
